Meditation is the practice of being still, being quiet, and going inward. There are many different types of meditations that you can do to train your awareness to be in the present moment. One of my favorite meditations is to focus on my breath. It doesn’t matter where you feel your breath in your body: belly, chest, back, or nose. What’s important is that you bring your awareness to your breath at this one particular place.
Focusing on your breath during meditation trains your awareness to be in the present moment because your breath happens from moment to moment. You can’t breathe in the past, nor can you breathe into the future. Your breath is here and now.
When you’re meditating and focusing on your breath, your thoughts will likely distract you. This is normal. The key is to notice, without judgment, that you are thinking about the past or future and then bring your awareness back to your breath. Bringing your awareness back to your breath during your sit will happen over and over. This is meditation.
Over time, your awareness grows, and you’ll start to notice distractions that surface during your sit. When you’re meditating, this quiet time might reveal an interaction that you had with a colleague, coworker, friend, partner, or family member that your subconscious took in, but you didn’t have the time, space, or capacity to respond to at that moment. Notice this distraction without judgment and return to your breath.
After your sit, did you find it difficult to focus on your breath because you had recurring thoughts about this interaction? If so, pay attention. Your attachment to this interaction could subtly be weighing you down. If you found yourself replaying someone’s words over and over, or if you were imagining and repeating your response to that person, or rehashing an imaginary conversation with that person, then you’re giving energy to this interaction.
Paying attention to yourself and being curious about yourself will help you determine if you want to speak to that person. Start this process by asking yourself these questions: Why was I replaying this interaction over and over? Was I triggered? Why was I triggered? What was important to me at that moment? What reactions and feelings did I have? What do I want to say? Should I say it? If not, am I minimizing my need to express myself?
When you’re answering these questions, give yourself permission to be open to your experience without judging yourself, give yourself permission to be with what really matters to you and what is important to you, and give yourself permission to explore your range of feelings from anger to sadness. From this place, decide if you want to have a conversation.
If you decide to speak to that person, what support do you need? If you don’t want to talk to that person, what do you need to do for yourself to release and move the lingering energy that you’re holding?
Whether or not you decide to have a conversation, because you took the time to pay attention, to look inward, and get curious about yourself, you’re taking steps to develop self-awareness, self-acceptance, self-trust, and self-love. You decided to have a conversation with yourself — this is where empowered communication begins.
© 2018 The Empowered Communicator. Vanessa Alfaro. Communication Coach & Mediator. All Rights Reserved. Website: CodePineHills
