When You’re Triggered, Instead of Spiraling…

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My meditation teacher says, “When something happens, and we start to think, we enter the ocean of suffering.”

Your thinking creates your world. Your thinking affects your emotions. Your thinking creates your suffering.  

He also teaches a meditation practice where you focus on your breath in your belly. As you bring your awareness to your belly breath, ask, “Who am I?” and respond with, “Don’t know.” 

When I’m triggered, I use this “Don’t know” perspective.  Instead of spiraling out of control with my thoughts, I say, “Don’t know.”  I won’t let my thoughts fuel my emotions and create unnecessary suffering, except if I’m really fucking angry, then I’ll work through my steps.  

If someone says or does something that triggers you, and you start to feel anxious, worried, upset, scared, angry, or whatever intense feeling is coming up for you, instead of:

• going into a story about what that person said or did

• making assumptions or judgments about them 

• attaching to what you disliked about what they said or did

• replaying the scenario over and over 

remember: “Don’t know,” to remind yourself that you don’t know why they did what they did or said what they said.

Who knows, they might be having a bad day, going through something difficult, inattentive and unaware of their actions and words, or wretched and miserable.  

Regardless, you have no idea, and you won’t know unless you talk to them.  

Use this simple, powerful phrase, “Don’t know,” to get you out of your head and out of your suffering.     

Be well.  Be free.