Do you try Zen breathing to control your anger but say, “Fuck it!” when all you can see is red?
You open the freezer door.
Breathe.
Your partner does that annoying thing and puts an empty ice cube tray back into the freezer.
Breathe.
You ask yourself, “What’s the big deal? Just stay calm.”
Breathe.
“How many “f%^&#@!” times do I have to ask him to please fill-up the ice cube tray?”
Breathe.
But your Zen breathing isn’t working at all because you only see red!
Suddenly a flurry of angry, mean thoughts take hold of you.
You’re pissed, and you start to feel that familiar urge to destroy.
Oh no!
But you know you’ve got to keep your anger in check because it gets ugly when you lose your shit.
How do you release this wild part in you???
When you used to get angry with your partner, your MO was screaming and saying hurtful things to make him feel bad.
While your outbursts released your angry feelings, they regretfully left a big mess.
So, over time, with therapy and meditation, you turned your angry outbursts around.
And now, when you’re angry but the Zen breathing isn’t helping, and an angry outburst is no longer an option, you’re feeling unbearably uncomfortable with a tight knot in your chest.
In fact, you can barely breathe.
You don’t know how to express your angry feelings so that you can talk to him about the empty ice cube trays.
So, you don’t address it.
What’s worse, there’s a build-up of these stupid little triggers.
You have a bottomless pit of suppressed anger you don’t know what to do with or how to get rid of.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’ll be the first to admit that I used to get triggered over stupid little things, too.
And I was a fucking master at suppressing my angry feelings because of my MO: destructive rageful outbursts.
My explosions included yelling and saying mean things that I always regretted.
The aftermath of those rageful outbursts left me feeling ashamed and embarrassed.
So, I did everything I could not to feel a tinge of anger.
I believed the solution was to squash my angry feelings altogether.
And, yes, it was painfully uncomfortable to squash my anger.
Justifying why I shouldn’t be angry about stupid little things was a waste of my precious time and energy.
Then I realized it’s normal to feel angry, even if it is over something minor.
Many of us forget that it is our birthright to experience and express feelings.
But many of us were never taught how to express them consciously and healthily.
Still, I made a conscious choice that I wanted to learn how to feel healthily and mindfully angry.
I developed The Anger Algorithm and used it many times for those stupid little triggers.
What a relief it was to have permission to be with my authentic angry expression finally.
From the algorithm, I learned how to release anger and get clear on addressing those triggers.
I knew what to say to my beloved and how to say it without yelling, screaming, and being mean.
Now, instead of feeling uncomfortable with angry feelings, I seize the moment.
It’s comforting knowing that I have a powerful tool to work through anger alone in a private place without my beloved present.
And, not only that, I also learned how to address those stupid little things that triggered me.
If you’re uncomfortable with your anger and want to learn a new way to express yourself to create a deeper connection with your beloved…
If that’s you, I’d love to show you how The Anger Algorithm can help.
If you want to know what The Anger Algorithm can do, then click to chat.
If you’re sick of ignoring those stupid triggers and want to address them with ease and clarity, The Anger Algorithm is just the thing. Schedule some time to connect.
I have limited spots available for women who are in relationships and want to release suppressed anger so they’re having empowered conversations and creating more love in their relationship. Click here today.
To Your Peace, Freedom & Healing!
Love,
Vanessa
Anger & Communication Coach
San Francisco, CA
© 2018 The Empowered Communicator. Vanessa Alfaro. Communication Coach & Mediator. All Rights Reserved. Website: CodePineHills
