He Orders Another Drink 🤯

Anger, Anger & Communication Issues, Anger & Communication Problems, Anger Coach, Communication, Communication Coach, Conflict, Married, Personal Development, Rage, Relationships, Suppressed Anger, Women

Your lovely evening ended dreadfully after your partner washes down drink after drink.🤯 

You’re at your favorite restaurant having an exquisite meal with your sweetheart, and he orders another drink…

And then he orders another one… and another…

Five drinks later, he’s not engaging with you, and you’re seething inside wondering if he’ll have one more for the road.

You don’t want to ask him to stop because you’re afraid you’ll start fighting and ruin the night, even though his third one wrecked it for you. 

You used to tell yourself that it never really bothered you before… but did it? 

But now, when he drinks, you both stop talking because you’re mad, and he seems more withdrawn.

You’ve lost connection with each other, and you hate the separation.

You don’t want to feel hurt; instead, you’re angry.  

But you don’t want to make the situation worse.

Suddenly, you start to doubt your feelings and what you’re experiencing.

Wait, do you even have a right to be mad since you’ve tolerated his drinking for this long? 

So, you try to convince yourself why you shouldn’t make a big deal out of this. 

And here goes your reasoning:

“He’s always drunk like this.  I don’t have a right to be bothered by this now.

“Yeah, so we’re not talking, but, at least, he’s not mean to me.

“It could be worse. He’s not sloppy and can still drive us home.

“Really. What’s the problem? It’s probably just me.” 

Your inner reasoning has you tired and confused about what to do.  

You wonder if it’s your fault and if you’ve done something wrong to cause the discord and distance.

At this point, you’re a mess because you don’t know how to bring this up with him.

And, you don’t want to threaten him with ultimatums because you love him and want your relationship to work.  

So, with more inner monologue and journaling, you try your hardest to make your anger go away, promising yourself that you won’t get upset when it happens again.    

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know it might feel like an impossible situation to resolve.  

Believe me.  

I’ve been there and will wait to tell my story another time.

Instead, I’d love to tell you about Jane* because so many women in relationships can relate to this.

It was clear that my client loved her partner.  

But, she was afraid she’d lose him if she brought up this meaningful, vulnerable, delicate, scary conversation.

While she already tried to address his drinking and how it affected her, there was never any resolution.

He would get defensive; she would shut down and end up angrier than before while his drinking and their disconnection kept getting worse.  But, she wasn’t ready to give up.

So, she courageously decided to focus on what she could do for herself.  

In our work together, it was clear that she wasn’t only angry. 

She was fucking furious. 

In her rage, she was defended, contracted, and couldn’t think clearly about what she wanted.   

She needed to release this red, hot volcanic energy from her body because she couldn’t tolerate his drinking anymore.But, she didn’t know how to.  

Jane wasn’t my only client who has experienced rage like this.

Many of my clients, including myself, experienced this intense energy, too.

This bottled-up energy left me powerless and exhausted from holding it in.

I didn’t know what to do with it. 

I didn’t know how to release it.  

I was sick of “managing” it but didn’t know how to let go…

And, it’s why I created “The Anger Algorithm.”  

The Anger Algorithm gave Jane permission to finally feel, release, and let go of the rage that kept her confused and weighed her down.  

After working through the algorithm, she experienced a profound energetic shift that left her alive and open. 

She could finally see the gem under the rage: What She Deeply Longed For.  

Working through the algorithm helped her get clear on what to say to her beloved.

She was ready to vulnerably talk to him about how to make their relationship work because she loved him and wanted to reconnect.  

In the end, while the conversation was difficult, she wasn’t angry and defended.

Instead, she openly talked about her experience and could listen to him for the first time.

He also listened to her and finally understood her deep longing.  

They knew their work wasn’t over, but they were ready to talk about the next steps to heal what was happening so they could deepen their love and connection.

If your beloved is drinking and you’re furious about it, The Anger Algorithm will help you release the rageful energy that’s leaving you confused so you can get clear on your deep longing.  

To learn how the algorithm can reveal your desire, click here to talk.

If you want to dissolve your defenses and self-doubt to access your inner strength and wisdom so that you can confidently talk to your beloved, schedule your call today.

I have limited spots available for women in relationships who are ready to stop the endless inner monologue, journaling, and exhaustion from keeping it all in.   

Let’s schedule a time to review The Anger Algorithm together.  

*For privacy & confidentiality, this client’s name was changed and story modified.

To Your Peace, Freedom & Healing!

Love,
Vanessa

Anger & Communication Coach

San Francisco, CA