My Husband Annoys the Shit Out of Me

Have you noticed that lately, any little thing your partner does annoys the shit out of you?

You wake up to your loved one by your side and notice you’re annoyed.

You don’t get why you’re annoyed, but you are.

So, you move along with your routine, smile, hug, kiss, and say good morning even though you know something is amiss.

You think,

“Hmmm, where am I in my cycle?

‘Maybe I’m just grumpy.

‘Actually, I didn’t sleep well.”

Now you’re annoyed that you’re annoyed.

So, when your partner makes breakfast but doesn’t cook for you or ask you if you want something to eat, that’s it!

You’re not annoyed anymore.

You’re ANGRY.

This angry energy is coursing through your body at lightning speed.

You are ready to fucking explode and launch into:

“I always cook for you!

‘Are you even aware of how I’m feeling?

‘WTF, do I have to ask you to cook for me?”

But you hold back and hold it in because it seems petty when all you have to do is ask, but you don’t want to ask.

You want him to know.

And you can’t bring yourself to say this.

Not only that, if you tell your partner you’re annoyed and angry, you know without a doubt you’ll end up arguing.

You decide to remain silent and wonder, “Is this really about him not cooking for me?”

Now, you feel guilty, ashamed, and confused because you’re doubting yourself and don’t know what you’re upset about.

You can’t put your finger on it.

Since you don’t fucking understand what’s going on, you ignore and stuff your angry feelings.

Suppressing your angry energy is palpable, and you feel it in your throat.

You want to scream and cry, but you don’t.

You’re terrified that your loved one will make you feel wrong for having feelings.

You’re terrified your partner will laugh at you, ignore you, tell you to stop, and knock it off.

There’s a deeper fear, too; your partner might mistreat you, lash out at you, or be mean to you, and say, “Cook for yourself.”

But wait, that’s not the person who you love.

The person you love isn’t perfect but is good and kind.

Are you projecting old stuff onto your partner?

This old stuff stops you from expressing yourself.

This old stuff prevents you from understanding yourself and why you’re angry.

You can’t keep up this pattern because it’s leaving you empty inside and deadening your relationship.

Your annoyance, along with the anger you feel that’s under the surface, keeps you silent.

It sucks, and you want this to change.

But you don’t know how to change this old stuff that stops you from telling your partner you’re angry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh, what a nightmare.

It hurts to realize how angry and annoyed you are with the person closest to you, the one you love.

But feeling angry without understanding why keeps you stuck.

This stuck pattern could end your relationship if you don’t address it.

You get angry because you have unmet needs and wants, such as connection, affection, communication, beauty, safety, sexual expression, etc.

You’re angry because there’s something you wish for in your relationship.

You’re angry because something needs to change.

But you don’t know what it is because that longing for wanting more in your life is locked up.

So, you end up projecting this old stuff onto your loved one without even realizing it.

It’s your birthright to have wants and what you wish for in your life.

I had a client whose rage covered up what she longed for in her relationship.

The Anger Algorithm helped her release old, repressed bottled-up rage that stopped her from talking.

She was afraid that her partner would respond to her angry feelings the way her parents responded to her angry feelings when she was a girl.

The algorithm helped her release these old feelings to stop projecting old stuff onto her beloved.

She moved blocked, stuck energy that kept her from having a vulnerable conversation with her beloved.

After releasing and letting go, she understood what she wanted.

Acknowledging what she wanted stunned her!

Clearing the old angry energy gave her the strength and courage she needed to ask for what she wanted.

And she wanted more… more affection, more touch, more holding, and being gentle with each other during difficult conversions.

While asking for what she wanted was vulnerable, she felt alive, open, and free in her vulnerability.

If you want to stop feeling annoyed and angry with the one you love and get clear on what you want in your relationship, click here to schedule a time to map out The Anger Algorithm.

If you want to understand why you’re angry and start vulnerably talking to your partner, let’s talk about how The Anger Algorithm will help you release the old stuck angry energy that holds you back.

If you want to end your projections and fears, let’s talk about how The Anger Algorithm will help you create more connection and intimacy in your relationship. Schedule a conversation with me today.

To Your Peace, Freedom & Healing!
Love,
Vanessa
Anger & Communication Coach, San Francisco, CA

My Husband Annoys the Shit Out of Me

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