From Dirty Dishes to Threats of Divorce

Anger, Anger & Communication Coach, Anger & Communication Issues, Anger & Communication Problems, Anger Coach, Anger Issues, Anger Problems, Coach, Communication, Communication Coach, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Conflict, Difficult Conversation, Freedom, Healing, Married, Married Women, Peace, Personal Development, Personal Growth, Rage, Relief, Repressed Anger, Resolve Conflict, Suppressed Anger, Women

Is this familiar?

You walk into the kitchen and see your beloved’s pile of dishes sitting in the sink again.

Your inner reaction: SCREAM!

But, you hold back because it feels trivial and immature to make such a big deal out of dirty dishes.

With resentment, you go ahead and wash them for him.

But, days later, you realize the truth: you’re fucking pissed for washing his dishes, again.

You didn’t want to wash them in the first place and didn’t want to ask him to wash them.

You want him to wash his dishes.

Yet, it is so unbelievably uncomfortable even to admit that you’re angry about his dirty dishes.

Instead of being angry right when you saw the pile, you held it in because you didn’t know how to express it healthily.

Unfortunately, when you hold anger in, it inevitably comes out in some destructive way.

When he doesn’t wash his dishes, again, you start yelling.

You’re both arguing, he’s confused, and there’s no resolution.

You feel embarrassed, sad, hurt, and full of regret.

I understand. 

I’ve been there many times. 

I used to work so hard not to feel angry because I was so afraid of how my beloved would receive me or not. 

Not only was it hard, it was painful for me to say, “I’m angry because you didn’t wash your dishes. Will you please wash your dishes?” 

Why was that so fucking hard?

What was I afraid of?

It was so hard because I was afraid that by uttering the word “angry,” we would start to argue.

I was afraid that he would get angry right back.

I was afraid that he wouldn’t be there to support me. 

And, my ultimate fear was that he would leave me, and suddenly divorce would be on the table.

So, I stayed silent, held it in, and tried whatever anger “management” exercise I had in my toolbox, but disastrously, I would fucking explode. 

My explosive outburst was a problem because my beloved didn’t want me to take my anger out on him.

I hurt him with my yelling and the mean things I would woefully say.

I felt ashamed.    

And, of course, I did not want to direct my anger towards him.

But I didn’t know what to do.

My breathing techniques, years of therapy, meditation practices, yoga, and “controlling” my anger were not working.

One day, I thought,

This doesn’t make sense because it’s normal to feel angry.  

Is it possible to express anger in a healthy way?  

There must be a way to release and express it, so I’m not “managing” it. 

So, I began to search for an answer. 

What I discovered and developed was “The Anger Algorithm.”

This process changed my life!

I finally had permission to authentically and consciously release anger, express it, and understand what was pissing me off.

When I not only released this wild, powerful energy from my body, I came away with clarity for what I truly wanted. 

Was I furious about the dirty dishes?

Yes. 

But, what I discovered from The Anger Algorithm, I was ultimately hurt because I wanted more support from my beloved.

I now had the tools to ask, “I’d like your help. Will you please wash your dishes?” 

And, after working through the algorithm and having a conversation, all the bottled-up anger I was holding was miraculously gone. 

That 100-pound weight of angry energy was just gone.

I’ve become an expert at noticing when I’m suppressing my angry feelings. 

And, when I notice when I’m angry, I work through the algorithm. 

Every time I work through it, my soul becomes freer, more at peace, healthier, and alive!

I would love to tell you more about The Anger Algorithm at no cost so you can learn how to say, “I’m angry,” with ease and stop causing more problems in your relationship.

I want to offer you the chance to see that by acknowledging your experience and giving yourself permission to feel angry, you don’t have to suffer from suppressing and ignoring anger.

Click here to set up a time to chat so I can map out The Anger Algorithm for you.

I have 5 spots open for women who want to stop expressing their anger in destructive ways. 

If you don’t want to struggle with bottled-up anger anymore, click here to schedule your call.

To Your Peace, Freedom & Healing!

Love,

Vanessa

Anger & Communication Coach

San Francisco, CA